Are You An Outside-The-Lines Or Inside-The-Lines Thinker? — When I drive to work in the morning, I don’t think about the waxy buildup on my kitchen floor. I think about the tarp in the pickup truck in front of me and how there might be a body underneath it. Should I take a picture of the license plate…

Dysfunctional wife, mother, loser of stuff. Making sense out of chaos. Writer of humor, satire, poetry, and thought pieces. Living life in retirement land. Everyday is an adventure in what…

No other group is so misunderstood — Denigrated far too long for their faulty noggins, a bigot’s malicious behavior can be attributed to an incredibly tiny brain. Although a bigot baby is born with an average size brain, as soon as it is exposed to a racist parent, the brain starts precipitously shrinking, eliminating any possibility of…

Slimy green stomach beasts — While in line at the buffet table, you eyeball the Brussels sprouts krautballs. The vomit veggies you ate earlier melted in your mouth like hypertonic nuclear waste. Despite good intentions, it was a disastrous way to get your greens. A krautball isn’t easy on your tongue or your cutlery. It…

free verse — My brain is a Jambalaya hot mess I confess slimy residue on the surface I skim with a spoon at the bottom of the bowl darkness rises with bits of floating food for thought a dad hungry for more but only gets less dwindling relief from the grip of kidney…

The mass shooting — windows shattered perceptions tattered projectiles piercing fleshy targets pointed, probing, hearts exploding pieces floating in bloody rivulets circling desks children’s corpses on the floor lying where they used to walk in lockers, backpacks hanging full of promise waiting for loved ones to collect the dissonant offer “thoughts and prayers,” a…

A thought piece — Ever since we downsized from homeowner to renter, life feels fuzzy, albeit, transient. I spend my days stuck, as if in an airport terminal waiting for a connecting flight that never arrives.—Just sitting and waiting for what comes next. Whatever next is. So many questions. Where will we live? North…

We put the “fun” in defunct — Gifts aren’t just for birthdays anymore. At Expiration Day Gifts, we believe that everyone is entitled to a parting gift before they go. Why be glum on your last day on earth when you can celebrate your freedom from everything that’s killing you. Worried about all those mounting doctor bills? …

Free Verse — A canopy of clouds shields my eyes from shiny antiseptic truths shimmering brilliant bits trickle from heaven beneath blue burgeoning sky swollen clouds sink from the weight of precipitation wavering between sunshine and shadows clarity and murky ghostly images diminish in daylight on dappled windshields protecting the perceptions of sensitive…