Gifts aren’t just for birthdays anymore.
At Expiration Day Gifts, we believe that everyone is entitled to a parting gift before they go.
Why be glum on your last day on earth when you can celebrate your freedom from everything that’s killing you.
Worried about all those mounting doctor bills?
A canopy of clouds
shields my eyes from
shiny antiseptic truths
shimmering brilliant bits
trickle from heaven
beneath blue burgeoning sky
sink from the weight of precipitation
sunshine and shadows
clarity and murky
ghostly images diminish in daylight
on dappled windshields
protecting the perceptions
I’ve worked in many dysfunctional offices over the years, but nothing prepared me for the gluten-free bakery where a promise of purity thrived in their cupcakes but died in their workplace.
I knew things were bad on the first day when I answered the phone and spoke to a coyote…
I’ve always been a space cadet. In grade school, I would stare out the window during class watching the leaves float off trees instead of focusing on a lesson in penmanship, which explains my lousy handwriting. But who could blame me? Penmanship is boring. Yet, other students could focus and…
late in the day
pool people splashing, laughing
knowing each other’s names
while we wait in stasis
twisty things that don’t seem to fit
struggling for a place in the sun
where others lounge
chatting in chairs
we walk in the shade…
On a bluish day
sunlight frames the perimeter in the shade
where an ethereal creature waits in moral certitude
while remorse wades through deeper waters
echoes of a mother burdened by a damaged son
disturbs the tranquility of nature’s grace,
born from expectations of perfection swirls in shame
In a distant world, a house stands on a creaky foundation overlooking a hill.
Inside the house, a man sits by the window staring at sky.
Through the glass, he looks small and uncertain, his eyes hazy with discontent.
His wife stands behind him staring at his balding head.
Because boring is more harmful to your health than electromagnetic rays.
Now you can enjoy your cellphone and surroundings, too. Thanks to the folks at Cell Tower Campy Costumes.
Our staff of certified microwave arborists will help you find a cell tower costume that lights up your face while it…
A man sits in a chair by a window in a darkening room. His face brightens when he’s reunited with his wife’s ass bearing down upon his lap.
MAN: Hello, dear. I’ve missed your ass.
WIFE: Ah, the chair speaks.
MAN: How was your day?
WIFE: Just lovely. Packing boxes…