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Lauren Salkin
Lauren Salkin

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Lauren Salkin — Lauren Salkin Dysfunctional wife, mother, loser of stuff. Making sense out of chaos. Writer of humor, satire, poetry, and thought pieces. My work has appeared on Huffington Post, Extra Newsfeed…

Humor

1 min read

About Me

Lauren Salkin

Dysfunctional wife, mother, loser of stuff. Making sense out of chaos.
Writer of humor, satire, poetry, and thought pieces.

My work has appeared on Huffington Post, Extra Newsfeed…

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Published in Publishous

·Jan 14

Thinking My Way Out Of Stuck

A thought piece — Ever since we downsized from homeowner to renter, life feels fuzzy, albeit, transient. I spend my days stuck, as if in an airport terminal waiting for a connecting flight that never arrives.—Just sitting and waiting for what comes next. Whatever next is. So many questions. Where will we live? North…

Baby Boomers

3 min read

Thinking My Way Out Of Stuck
Thinking My Way Out Of Stuck

Published in MuddyUm

·Nov 21, 2021

Expiration Day Gifts for the Soon-To-Be Departed

We put the “fun” in defunct — Gifts aren’t just for birthdays anymore. At Expiration Day Gifts, we believe that everyone is entitled to a parting gift before they go. Why be glum on your last day on earth when you can celebrate your freedom from everything that’s killing you. Worried about all those mounting doctor bills? …

MWC

3 min read

Expiration Day Gifts: For The Soon-To-Be Departed
Expiration Day Gifts: For The Soon-To-Be Departed

Published in Literally Literary

·Oct 24, 2021

Atmospheric Disturbance

Free Verse — A canopy of clouds shields my eyes from shiny antiseptic truths shimmering brilliant bits trickle from heaven beneath blue burgeoning sky swollen clouds sink from the weight of precipitation wavering between sunshine and shadows clarity and murky ghostly images diminish in daylight on dappled windshields protecting the perceptions of sensitive…

Family

1 min read

Atmospheric Disturbance
Atmospheric Disturbance

Published in Publishous

·Sep 25, 2021

When Your Job Has An Expiration Date

How I found the strength to start fresh again — I’ve worked in many dysfunctional offices over the years, but nothing prepared me for the gluten-free bakery where a promise of purity thrived in their cupcakes but died in their workplace. I knew things were bad on the first day when I answered the phone and spoke to a coyote…

Work

6 min read

When Your Job Has An Expiration Date
When Your Job Has An Expiration Date

Aug 25, 2021

My ADHD Superpower

Finding strength in weakness — I’ve always been a space cadet. In grade school, I would stare out the window during class watching the leaves float off trees instead of focusing on a lesson in penmanship, which explains my lousy handwriting. But who could blame me? Penmanship is boring. Yet, other students could focus and…

Adhd

6 min read

My ADHD Superpower
My ADHD Superpower

Published in Literally Literary

·Aug 11, 2021

In Between

A Poem — Not here or there in between shadows lengthening late in the day pool people splashing, laughing knowing each other’s names while we wait in stasis twisty things that don’t seem to fit struggling for a place in the sun where others lounge chatting in chairs we walk in the shade…

Downsizing

1 min read

In Between
In Between

Published in Literally Literary

·Jul 19, 2021

Finding Diamonds In The Water

Reflections on the gene pool — On a bluish day sunlight frames the perimeter in the shade where an ethereal creature waits in moral certitude while remorse wades through deeper waters echoes of a mother burdened by a damaged son disturbs the tranquility of nature’s grace, interminable dissonance born from expectations of perfection swirls in shame …

Poetry

1 min read

Finding Diamonds In The Water
Finding Diamonds In The Water

Published in Literally Literary

·Jun 19, 2021

Fingers Around The Neck

Living with dementia — In a distant world, a house stands on a creaky foundation overlooking a hill. Inside the house, a man sits by the window staring at sky. Through the glass, he looks small and uncertain, his eyes hazy with discontent. His wife stands behind him staring at his balding head. Her…

Fiction

3 min read

Fingers Around The Neck
Fingers Around The Neck

Published in MuddyUm

·Jun 12, 2021

Sick of the Same Cell Tower Disguises?

Dress up your monopole in a campy costume — Because boring is more harmful to your health than electromagnetic rays. Now you can enjoy your cellphone and surroundings, too. Thanks to the folks at Cell Tower Campy Costumes. Our staff of certified microwave arborists will help you find a cell tower costume that lights up your face while it…

Satire

3 min read

Sick of the Same Cell Tower Disguises?
Sick of the Same Cell Tower Disguises?
Lauren Salkin

Lauren Salkin

Making Sense Out Of Chaos

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